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Hey Assata!
How are you feeling today?
Hopefully you're not having one of those "meh" or frustrated moments at work, you know, when things seem overwhelming and we're wondering "why do I work here?" Picture little miss muffet sitting calmly in her good place, and then bam! Along comes that spider. Sound familiar? Well, if you are don't worry! I've got some wonderful tips to help shake off those bad vibes so we keep enjoying our day!
In every moment, our brains are juggling so much! - sensations, our surroundings and even our internal needs. And guess what? It's doing it all of this without being able to see! It's no wonder it sometimes needs a little extra help, especially when it comes to managing our emotions. That's where the traffic light process comes in handy - it helps us navigate the overwhelm and find our happy place. Try it! Sometimes wishing we could have handled a situation a better makes all the difference in building confidence and influencing how we show up.
Red Light it: Stop right there! Take a deep breath, just one big breath of possibility...ahhh. Yes, we've heard this before, and it's not just for kids. We all get to have big feelings, and pausing helps our brains slow down those automatic reactions to fight, run away, or freeze! It's like a short cut to resolving problems, but it's only useful if we're really in danger. When we react without thinking, our brains are just guessing we're in trouble based on how our bodies feel. But it needs more info! Taking a breath gives our brain time to think and understand the whole picture. Plus, oxygen helps our brains work better, like pressing the reset button! We can stay grounded in the present by feeling our feet on the ground or in our shoes. That way, we can stay focused and not jump to conclusions. And if more time is needed to think, it's totally okay to ask for it! (Say: I'm still processing). So next time there is an annoyance or agitation, just pause, take a breath, and let the brain catch up!
Amber-Proceed with Empathy: Listen. We can tap into our inner empathy superhero! When we someone is acting in way that dishonours our values or messes with our mojo, flip the script. We, first, acknowledge our own feelings, then try to understand what they might be feeling and needing. It's just a guess because we can't read emotions from faces, so ask questions for clarity. Who knows? We might turn a potential clash into a collaboration that impresses and encourages everyone! Our energies can really make a difference!
It's Green- Go! Flip the Script and Own Your Stage: When we have some more information it's our turn to respond in way that honours our values, so kindness if one of them, respond with kindness, if it's ownership of responsibilities, we own our part. But we can go deeper using this dialog from Marshall Rosenbeg's 4 part non- violent communication process:
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When I (see or hear) .......
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I feel......(emotion)
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I need.....because I value......
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Would you be willing to....... (state clear action you want to happen)
Example:
Imagine this scenario, you check your shared calendar with your higher up and realize that 3 more items have been added to urgent, adding to the list of 5 from earlier in the day. You become alarmed and frustrated wondering how you will get all this done by the end of the week! Your heart starts racing, jaws clenched and your mind starts racing. You want to scream or just go home!!!!!
Would you be willing try this approach with the person and say - When I see multiple items marked urgent and due for the same week, I feel overwhelmed and concerned that to will be rushed or won't happen. I really value quality work, efficiency and meeting my deadlines. I know I can get a few of them done this week though, would you be willing to go over with me the ones that must be completed by the end of the week?
Now, It might not work with everyone, but it maybe worth trying so we can manage our responses in a way that honour our values and shows compassion for ourselves and others. Knowing we've lived up to our values boosts our confidence and disarm those survival responses, even at work.
We are the masters of our own destinies, the captain of our ships.
Now Your Power Challenge:
Think of a situation at work that is anregular occurrence that really riles you up and has stolen your mojo in the past. Using the 4- part non-violent communication process above plan how you will handle it next time so that everyone is clear and you claim your agency.
Keep evolving, Assata
Coach Assata
P.S. If you try it let me know if it worked for didn't work, let's keep this personal revolution going!
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